After ten years of marriage, I was in a place of discontent. We tried to fix or do things better and attended many marriage courses, but my discontentment and frustration only got worse as I learned more about how our marriage should be or how my husband should be. I became angry and bitter towards him, feeling unappreciated and unloved.
Somehow, he had become my enemy; this man was standing in my way of getting the marriage I’d always wanted.
I heard about the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember® (WTR) event. It was timely; we came not sure what to expect, but through the inspiring and touching messages and life stories, God stirred our hearts. During the conference, we had the most open and honest but loving discussions we’d ever had. We broke down and cried to each other, admitting how we had failed one another as wife and husband and seeking forgiveness. We started applying what we learned and loving each other and our kids on purpose. We experienced a positive shift in the atmosphere.
After the weekend getaway, we got on the same page about our family and where we were heading. We hit rough patches, but what we learned gave us hope and pulled us together.
In June 2015, we attended our second WTR, and it was like peeling off another layer. God reached us at a deeper level, challenged us some more, and gave us a deeper love for each other. Our experiences gave us hope and the foundation, knowing that things could get better.
However, life has a way of getting us in a rut. We somehow got to a place of “just married, with three kids.” Time for a refresher, a reboot, I thought!
The third time, we were encouraged for what we’ve done well, putting into practice what we’ve learned; at the same time, we were challenged by the reminders of the basics that we might have let slip. We’re thankful for each other and that we have a better relationship now compared to when we first got married. We’ve taken away so much, been inspired and again filled with hope for the future. This has equipped us with so many tools to use for ourselves, our family, and our kids.
All three times that we’ve been, we couldn’t help but think what it would mean for our extended family—to be transformed in their thinking about marriage, to shake off the myths and preconceptions, and to have what we have: a work in progress! We can only pray that one day the ongoing transformation that they can see in our marriage is compelling enough to make them curious and make them want a great and extraordinary marriage for themselves, rather than settling for a “good” marriage.
