My name is Asia, and I live in a small town in southwest Poland. I grew up in a multigenerational family with my parents, two sisters, my grandmother, grandfather, and grandfather’s brother. My parents took my sister and me to church, but we never talked about our beliefs or prayed together.
I thought of God as an old man who scrutinizes my sins and writes everything down in a big book. When I was fourteen, my beloved father died, and within a few months my grandfather followed and then his brother. Our house, always so full, all of a sudden became empty. I grieved deeply and came to the conclusion that there is no God because if He existed, He wouldn’t have allowed this to happen. I finished high school and then started studying at the university where I met my husband. We fell in love and got married after two years of dating.
Sometime after our wedding, I noticed that my husband was not the kind of person I wanted him to be. More and more things caused us to grow apart, and many issues became a pretext for an argument. We also had “quiet days,” when we just didn’t talk to each other. An invisible wall started separating us. Our two-year-old son was unfortunately a witness to our arguments. My heart ached for him, grieving the fact that he was not growing up in a loving family with the feeling of security.
One day I just started crying and could not stop. I wasn’t able to function normally. I went to work and took care of my child, but it was as if I were a robot. When I had some free time, I would cry for two or three hours or escape to sleep. Uncontrolled fits of crying were getting worse, so I realized I had to do something about them.
I found a therapist. I went to see her very often. Then we started talking about the future of my marriage. Gradually, she was getting me used to the thought of divorce. I thought that since she helped me to deal with uncontrolled crying, she must have a recipe for a happy life. She seemed so wise and highly educated… I decided to get a divorce.
I am a lawyer, so I immediately prepared a divorce petition and told my husband about it. His reaction was predictable—another terrible argument in the presence of our crying son. My husband didn’t want to move out. I hated him so much… I was bitter, helpless, with no way out. After the argument I cried so much and said, “God, if you do exist, do something about it, as I am not able to cope with this situation. Please help me, as I don’t have any strength of my own.”
The next day a friend called and told me about a parenting conference in a nearby town. I made sure that it wasn’t about marriage, as I wasn’t interested in this topic. I had already made a decision. But we loved our son and we wanted to raise him properly, so we went. I was curious about what I would hear. First, I was surprised by the way Magda and Wiesiek Grabowski treated one another—with respect, love, and understanding. There was peace and joy in them. Speaking on raising children, they used passages from the Bible. Something inside me cried, “Yes, this is true!” The topics on child rearing were very interesting, and I listened intently. There was also a part about divorce and its impact on children. It suddenly dawned on me what could be the result of my decision about divorce and what a price our beloved child could pay! At the end of the lecture, the speakers gave an opportunity to receive Jesus as Savior and Lord. I wanted so much to live in the right way. I wanted to get out of my hell on earth. I repeated the words of prayer after Magda.
After the conference we went home. We talked, we cried, we apologized. It was amazing. God suddenly took the scales from my eyes, and I saw my husband in a totally different light. God gave me new love for my husband, whom I had hated and wanted out of my life just a few days before.
When we returned home, for the first time I looked at our son as a gift from God (which I heard at the conference), and I couldn’t contain the tears of happiness. When he fell asleep, I reached for the Bible. I wanted to get to know God, as I didn’t know Him. I opened the Bible and the first words I read were “I am.” I couldn’t believe my eyes, so I opened it in another place and again “I am,” and again “I am.” “God,” I thought, “You really are!” It was an answer to my question and my earlier prayer. I felt such happiness and joy that I wanted to jump, sing, and dance. God is alive, HE IS! I had read the Bible before, but it was just a book, a collection of stories. Now I treated it in a totally different way. Every word was precious as gold and had incredible POWER!
It’s been a few years now since our conversion. We hold on to God and His Word, as we know that there is no other way. We also know that our family was saved only thanks to God’s grace. God also gave us another son. Praise be to our Lord!
